We, as human beings spend a lot of time comparing ourselves with others, we try to please people as much as we can and a lot of the time, we try to be as perfect as we can. We want people to approve of us and the things that we do, and this can make life very hard for us.
It can make life harder than it needs to be.
What we should be doing is loving ourselves more, and stop being so hard on ourselves and each other.
When we love ourselves more and when we are kinder to ourselves, we get happier. We get to forgive ourselves quicker also and we become better, happier human beings.
Related: Benefits of forgiveness
So, here’s . . .
How to be more kinder to ourselves
Stop thinking it has to be all or nothing
We like branding ourselves as either the most amazing person, or the worst person that ever lived in this world. Sometimes, things are not always so black and white. You should cut yourself some slack, and take it easy on the negativity. Yes, you may not be all that you want to be, but you have some great qualities in you.
Be very aware of the way you speak to yourself and the things you tell yourself
Those times when you aren’t feeling so great, or feeling not so amazing, or maybe you are feeling ashamed, what are the things that you are saying to yourself? You need to be aware of the things that you are saying to yourself. Most people say negative things to themselves, about themselves, and if you also do that, you need to change that. Don’t verbalize negative things, because in a way, you will be calling them into your life. Look at your positives and let them come out more.
What do you say to others about you
“I’m an a*shole for forgetting your birthday!” Or, “You can wear that kind of bathing suit but I’d look like an elephant in that.” If you want to feel more crap about yourself, then you should continue saying horrible things about yourself. Obviously, this kind of talk about yourself should stop, all it does is chip away at your self esteem, and it makes others feel uncomfortable. If you have kids, you better believe that they are listening and are learning from you.
Find out what your triggers are
You need to know what triggers the put-yourself-down-talks. Maybe it’s triggered by a certain type of person, or maybe it’s when your husband talks down to you and you help him out, maybe it’s when you have messed up and instead of letting it go you just run with it? When you are aware of what takes you there, you will be better able to control it better.
Decide on how you want things to be
What do you want your life to be like? What kind of things do you want to be saying about yourself? What kind of life do you want? What are the things that are most important to you? Once you have decided what you want, figure out what you need to do to get there. If it means you take time out everyday and take some me-time, then that’s what you need to do. Take time daily and do things that make you feel great. Take time daily and say wonderful things about you and take time daily and recognise the amazing person that you are.
Being kinder to yourself is a choice. Being more loving to yourself is a choice, and you can choose that for yourself today. Don’t make life even harder by being nasty to you . . . remember life is short, make the most of it by being amazing to yourself.
You deserve that!
Image credit: Laura Marie tv