“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb
I truly believe that with all my heart!
When I lost it all, I didn’t want to be in this world anymore. I wanted to just die, so that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore. Even though I never thought of ending it all, I knew I did not want to deal with the pain that I was in.
What I learned through it all, is that I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I realised that getting up in the morning and facing the pain every single day, got better as time went on. As hard as it was to focus on my goals, and as bleak as it looked, I kept pressing on even when I didn’t feel it.
The point I am trying to make is, the falls we have, the challenges we face make us stronger, and in the process it gets better in time, but only if we stick with it.
Have you ever fallen really hard, on your face? How did you feel? What did you think about and what did your mind focus on? Was it embarrassment? Did you feel pain? Did you think about what people were going to say?
- Get back up faster than when you went down?
- Take a few moments to process what was going on before standing?
- Have such a bad fall, that you were worried about people who saw you falling? Did that make you want to stand up as fast as you could?
- Find someone to pin your failure on?
- Did you see people who were willing to help you get back up?
These reactions are not to say that you are weak, it’s because when you fall you might not even realise you are falling. Or you might be in shock, that you cannot completely own your reactions. It is extremely possible to fall really hard, but continue on the path of life, as if nothing has happened. The danger with that is that it can get dangerous, because if you do not acknowledge the issues, it means they are getting bigger without proper solutions.
It is important to know that you have fallen, it is important to acknowledge that truth, because only then can you work on dusting yourself up so that you can get back up.
A good lesson that we should all embrace is: Do not dwell on circumstances for too long!
Dwelling on circumstances and being stuck on that one place, is not going to make it better. Yes, we need to learn from our faults in order to do better the next time, but we need to move on from it.
Sure, you can choose to find someone to blame, you can even blame yourself. But what is that going to accomplish?
What is important is to take whats positive from that situation, the changes that you go through that will mold you into someone better.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to take those life lessons and learn from them to better yourself. You have to:
Know what you’re capable of.
At times, we know in our hearts that something is bad for us, we might even know this in our brain. However, it does not mean that behaving in a way that shows our wisdom is going to be easy. The goals that you have because of what you go through should not be too impossible to achieve, because you will be setting yourself up for failure.
You are trying to get up from it all, so your goals need to reflect that. You need to set goals that are realistic, goals that reflect your strengths and goals that you will be able to achieve. Never make the mistake of making goals that are based on someones desires, because you are trying to get their approval.
After a fall, what makes sense is to get up one step at a time, in small strides and there is no shame in that.
Never let someone’s expectation of you dictate your life.
We are all different, with different gifts, strengths and weaknesses. What will work for me might not work for you. Know yourself, know your limits and understand what you are up against. Maybe it will take you a coupe of days, maybe it might take you a couple of weeks, months? Just do not compare yourself with others.
Your journey is different, your challenges are different.
Take comfort in knowing that you are bouncing back, that where you are going is better than where you are, that it can only get better from that moment.
Now, that is how you get back up after a fall!
Photo by japypen_g