Getting back together with your ex is not just about trying to get her back because you are feeling lonely. You need to go through the process of why she broke up with you or why the relationship failed, you need to evaluate the contribution that you made to the breakup of the relationship and you need to own up to what you did. It’s also about the issues that affect the relationship and it is also about you bettering yourself so that you can contribute more to the relationship.
If you just rush to get her back in your life, without going through the necessary process, then the relationship will probably have the exact issues that broke you apart. It is possible to respark the romance, but you must through the necessary process.
Make the relationship better than before
You broke up because of issues that made her unhappy. Therefore, if you are trying to get her back, you need to strive to have a relationship better than the one you had before. In the beginning, most relationships are fun, the sex is awesome, and you both cannot get enough of each other.
As time goes on however, things start to get stale, your insecurities start popping up, you start taking each other for granted and the great sex that you used to have becomes less frequent. To get her back, you almost have to right all the wrongs that you did, and though you cannot unhurt her, you have to be willing to do what is necessary for her to trust you again and work at getting her respect again.
When people get desperate to be with someone, they promise just about anything to get them back. A smart woman is not going to want to get back to a situation which she was in before, so instead of promising her everything under the sun, why don’t you show her instead that you have changed. What is much more powerful than promising everything under the sun, when you know very well you are only saying all that she wants to hear just so she can come back to you, is to show her that you are the change that you are promising her.
Making empty promises will only tell her that you are really not that serious about the relationship, and it will also tell her that she will really be wasting her time with you. If she does get back to you, chances are that you will mess up again, which will make a reconciliation that much harder in future.
Are you a better guy now than when she broke up with you?
In order to answer this truthfully, you need to seriously look at yourself and the progress that you have made. You need to acknowledge the mistakes that you made and learn from them. This requires commitment and a desire to be a better person than before.
Honestly, if you say you have changed and still make the same mistakes that are responsible for your breakup, she will not be interested in taking you back, because she will be signing up for the hurt and the pain just like before. It won’t be about the things that you say, it will be the things that you do and your behaviour that will tell her that indeed you have changed.
Remember, getting your ex back is not something that may happen immediately, it is a process. A lot happened for her to decide to break off the relationship, therefore it’s not something that can be reversed in a day, a week and even a month. Though you may be scared that she might meet another guy and forget about you completely, you need to give her the time and space to process her feelings and what happened. It is completely possible to infatuate your ex again and make the relationship work.